(Random Stuff) Waukesha
dandraco:

hollyoakhill:

do you ever think about how little Michelangelo cared

All right, everyone, grab a chair and sit back because I’m going to share with you what I learned about Michelangelo and the Sistine Chapel in my Art History Class.
The man NEVER wanted to paint the damn thing. But the pope at the time “forced him to” According to my teacher. Michelangelo hated this man, I MEAN REALLY HATED HIM. So did a majority of people. The pope’s nickname translated literally means “Terrible pope”.
And the working conditions were awful. He had to work on his back with all that paint, which is filled with some toxic shit that gave Michelangelo a limp for the rest of his life. (Also, our teacher made us get on our backs and try drawing with both hands JUST to prove how bad and uncomfortable it is.)
At the time, the ceiling was so high, you could barely see it. You need binoculars to get a good look at what’s up there, by the time people could see the paintings, there was a lot of weird symbolism that Michelangelo hid up there.

This one? The creation of the sun and moon? God is mooning you. And the pope and all others after him prayed under that without knowing.

This one? At the time, dissecting was sacrilegious and everyone found out how behind God was what looked like half a brain. blah blah, science, science, that pissed everyone off.
And also, ALLLLLLL the men and women in the Sistine Chapel are all on fucking steroids. My teacher described the women’s bodies as "Men bodies with boobs slapped on."
And then there is this:

Now this is the back wall. Michelangelo actually wanted to paint this one after he finished the ceiling. (and there was a different pope too, I believe.) However, originally, EVERYONE in that painting was naked. And they didn’t like it. Adam and Eve naked? That’s cool. But Jesus? Now you crossed the line. So the pope at the time hired someone else to censor it and give the important figures clothes. He worked on it for 6 or 9 months before he died.
And then the symbolism in this one is great. Somewhere in the right, there are homosexuals in heaven. (No matter what, the Vatican will say “Those straight men are happy” I’ll get to that in a second), Michelangelo painted himself near Jesus, and the terrible pope is in hell with a snake biting his balls.
And if you were to point ANY of this out to the Vatican, they will deny all of it and claim Michelangelo was a catholic hero. In fact, when they discovered the symbolism around the 60s or 70s, the guy who told the Vatican was kicked out of the Vatican for life.
TL;DR: Michelangelo hated the pope and made the best “fuck you” of all time.

dandraco:

hollyoakhill:

do you ever think about how little Michelangelo cared

All right, everyone, grab a chair and sit back because I’m going to share with you what I learned about Michelangelo and the Sistine Chapel in my Art History Class.

The man NEVER wanted to paint the damn thing. But the pope at the time “forced him to” According to my teacher. Michelangelo hated this man, I MEAN REALLY HATED HIM. So did a majority of people. The pope’s nickname translated literally means “Terrible pope”.

And the working conditions were awful. He had to work on his back with all that paint, which is filled with some toxic shit that gave Michelangelo a limp for the rest of his life.
(Also, our teacher made us get on our backs and try drawing with both hands JUST to prove how bad and uncomfortable it is.)

At the time, the ceiling was so high, you could barely see it. You need binoculars to get a good look at what’s up there, by the time people could see the paintings, there was a lot of weird symbolism that Michelangelo hid up there.

This one? The creation of the sun and moon? God is mooning you. And the pope and all others after him prayed under that without knowing.

This one? At the time, dissecting was sacrilegious and everyone found out how behind God was what looked like half a brain. blah blah, science, science, that pissed everyone off.

And also, ALLLLLLL the men and women in the Sistine Chapel are all on fucking steroids. My teacher described the women’s bodies as "Men bodies with boobs slapped on."

And then there is this:

Now this is the back wall. Michelangelo actually wanted to paint this one after he finished the ceiling. (and there was a different pope too, I believe.) However, originally, EVERYONE in that painting was naked. And they didn’t like it. Adam and Eve naked? That’s cool. But Jesus? Now you crossed the line. So the pope at the time hired someone else to censor it and give the important figures clothes. He worked on it for 6 or 9 months before he died.

And then the symbolism in this one is great. Somewhere in the right, there are homosexuals in heaven. (No matter what, the Vatican will say “Those straight men are happy” I’ll get to that in a second), Michelangelo painted himself near Jesus, and the terrible pope is in hell with a snake biting his balls.

And if you were to point ANY of this out to the Vatican, they will deny all of it and claim Michelangelo was a catholic hero. In fact, when they discovered the symbolism around the 60s or 70s, the guy who told the Vatican was kicked out of the Vatican for life.

TL;DR: Michelangelo hated the pope and made the best “fuck you” of all time.

(via that-stupid-tardis-sound)

theblogchoseme:

If I text you back fast its not because Im thirsty its because my phone was in my hand at the time. The waiting to text people back on purpose shit is childish

(via hbbits)

srsfunny:

Parents’ Love Has No Limitshttp://srsfunny.tumblr.com/

srsfunny:

Parents’ Love Has No Limits
http://srsfunny.tumblr.com/

mulders:

I’m about to have a grand fucking time

(via jesus-christ-kill-it-with-fire)

huffingtonpost:

This Man With Severe Cerebral Palsy Created Mind-Blowing Art Using Just A Typewriter

Last year, 22-time Emmy award-winning reporter John Stofflet posted this news video he created for KING-TV in 2004, featuring Paul Smith and his artistic talents.

See the full video to see more of Smith’s artworks and to learn more about his inspiring story go here. 

(via bestnatesmithever)

staragus:

babygirlintheshadows:

buffaluffalo:

ghdos:

cardinal-signs:

shaish:

firesalamander12:

I love this duck

I never thought of that this is genius.

huh.

When I was considering homelessness, I already knew I’d be doing this. It makes so much sense. Planet Fitness is only $10 a month so it’s not like you wouldn’t be able to afford it.

a friendly reminder

real life P.S.A..

I’ve had friends that have done this when they needed to escape their unsupportive families.

staragus:

babygirlintheshadows:

buffaluffalo:

ghdos:

cardinal-signs:

shaish:

firesalamander12:

I love this duck

I never thought of that this is genius.

huh.

When I was considering homelessness, I already knew I’d be doing this. It makes so much sense. Planet Fitness is only $10 a month so it’s not like you wouldn’t be able to afford it.

a friendly reminder

real life P.S.A..

I’ve had friends that have done this when they needed to escape their unsupportive families.

(Source: creppybahl, via that-stupid-tardis-sound)

hula-chili-soup:

is your heart supposed to pound for ten minutes straight after you answer one question in class

(via jesus-christ-kill-it-with-fire)

therebelwithoutavoice:

konnono:

toshio-the-starman:

sadmoviequotes:

“When men cook food, it’s art… but when women cook, it’s their duty.”

- Sridevi as Shashi Godbole in English Vinglish (2012)

oh snap

I saw this movie in English class and it was absolutely BRILLIANT. 10/10 would recommend.

so true

whenever a guy cooks well, everyone says he could be a chef at a five star hotel

when a girl cooks well, everyone comments on how she is a wifey material smh

(via jesus-christ-kill-it-with-fire)

vancity604778kid:

ultrafacts:

She started to talk to him about his interests and her kidnapper began to view her as a person he could trust. Eventually, he declared that he was in love with her. After 10 days of captivity, he allowed Elizabeth to borrow his cell phone to play games on it. Naturally, when he left, she used it to call her mother.



Source If you want more facts, follow Ultrafacts




This is actually a smart thing to do. If you are ever kidnapped, you should try to humanize yourself & get close to your captors. Do not challenge them, rather try to show them that you are worthy of their respect. If you speak the same language, try to talk with them and exchange information. Learn about them and let them learn about you. Try to relate to them.  Family could be a safe topic depending on the situation. If they see you as a person, your quality of life as a captive and your probability of survival go way up. This creates the reverse-Stockholm Syndrome on them in which they can express empathy and sympathy and have positive feelings towards you. Now you might have the opportunity to escape like the girl above did!

vancity604778kid:

ultrafacts:

She started to talk to him about his interests and her kidnapper began to view her as a person he could trust. Eventually, he declared that he was in love with her. After 10 days of captivity, he allowed Elizabeth to borrow his cell phone to play games on it. Naturally, when he left, she used it to call her mother.

Source If you want more facts, follow Ultrafacts

This is actually a smart thing to do. If you are ever kidnapped, you should try to humanize yourself & get close to your captors. Do not challenge them, rather try to show them that you are worthy of their respect. If you speak the same language, try to talk with them and exchange information. Learn about them and let them learn about you. Try to relate to them.  Family could be a safe topic depending on the situation. If they see you as a person, your quality of life as a captive and your probability of survival go way up. This creates the reverse-Stockholm Syndrome on them in which they can express empathy and sympathy and have positive feelings towards you. Now you might have the opportunity to escape like the girl above did!

(via that-stupid-tardis-sound)

annulet:

pomfette:

i just witnessed a 12 year old punch another 12 year old for the chance to see breasts. and not just a light tap. this was a sucker punch. if these kids arent smart enough to google “hot girl tity” they arent smart enough to fake the sound of skin hitting skin. i have found my true calling. i am not going to heaven

UR FACE THOUGH IM LAUGHING TREMENDOUSLY 

annulet:

pomfette:

i just witnessed a 12 year old punch another 12 year old for the chance to see breasts. and not just a light tap. this was a sucker punch. if these kids arent smart enough to google “hot girl tity” they arent smart enough to fake the sound of skin hitting skin. i have found my true calling. i am not going to heaven

UR FACE THOUGH IM LAUGHING TREMENDOUSLY 

(via jesus-christ-kill-it-with-fire)

stabs:

My dad just saw my report card and started yelling at me because there was an F on it, but it actually was F for female as in gender

(via that-stupid-tardis-sound)

squarlo:

givemeinternet:

5 minutes ago they were chasing the laser

i cant believe you fucking killed your cats with a laser you fucking monster

squarlo:

givemeinternet:

5 minutes ago they were chasing the laser

i cant believe you fucking killed your cats with a laser you fucking monster

(via jesus-christ-kill-it-with-fire)

Livin that yolo life